A slice of bread
The fellow was a regular customer at the restaurant, and the management tried to please him. When he complained that only one piece of bread was served with his meal, the waiter brought him four slices the next night.
“That’s better,” said the man, “but not enough. I like bread.”
The next evening, the waiter brought a dozen pieces. “Better yet,” said the man, “but why skimp? I like bread.”
A basketful of slices the next night failed to stop the complaint. “We’ll fix him,” the manager told the waiter, and ordered a gigantic loaf specially baked-six feet long and as big as a barrel. When the man came in for his meal, the waiter lugged in the entire loaf, uncut, dropped it on the table, and waited hopefully for comment. The man glared at the loaf, and said in resigned tones, “Back to one piece again, I see.”
“Mystery”
One day during cooking class, our teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces.
When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, “Don’t forget to use wooden spoons.”
As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory. “Why wooden spoons?” I asked.
“Because,” she replied, “if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I’d go nuts.”
“New Pet”
A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He stopped and picked it up and headed home to the city with his new found pet. As the man drove home, the piglet jumped up on the shelf in the back window and paced back and forth – creating quite a distraction for passing motorists.
After entering the city limits, a cop saw this pulled the car over.
“Hey, What are you doing with that pig in the car?”, the cop asked
The driver replied, “Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field so I thought he’d make a great pet.”
The cop responded, “I want you to take that pig to the zoo!”
The driver agreed and drove off.
The next day the cop saw the guy driving around with the pig in the back window again and pulled him over.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THAT PIG TO THE ZOO!!” he yelled.
“Well, I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now.”
