The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.
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Time between slipping on a peel
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
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Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.
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Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet. (Another good reason to end your day in God’s presence…)
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When in deep water, be sure to keep your mouth shut.