The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket
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You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
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My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
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I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.