Humor Quotes

Sign under a mounted fish: If I had kept my mouth shut, I wouldn’t be here.

How do you know you’ve met a good tax accountant? He has a loophole named after him.

A sure way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The worst thing about censorship is *******.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

Of all the things that I’ve ever lost, I miss my mind the least.

“I may not be funny but parts of me are humerus.”

In theory, everything works.

Seen it all. Done it all. Can’t remember most of it.

“If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?”