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Offering Plates / Take only one / H2O

CartoonOffering Plates

The church I serve
has a summer ministry at a chapel. At our first service last summer, the
chairman of the board of deacons met me at the door with the information that
there were no offering plates to be found. None of the men wore hats, and he
thought it undignified to pass a shoe. He had tried to borrow something
suitable from a house nearby, but no one was home. When I went to the chancel
to begin the service, the problem was still unsolved.

Time came for the
offering, and two ushers walked down the aisle wearing broad grins and carrying
shiny receptacles. The deacon had resourcefully borrowed two hubcaps from a
parishioner’s car.

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Failed resolutions

At the beginning of a New Year, a high school principal decided to post his teachers’ New Year’s resolutions on the bulletin board. As the teachers gathered around the bulletin board, a great commotion started. One of the teachers was complaining. “Why weren’t my resolutions posted?” She was throwing such a temper tantrum

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