Waiter, do you serve crabs? Yes sir, we serve anybody. Â Waiter, waiter. I don’t like the flies in here. Well come back tomorrow sir, we’ll have some new ones by then. Â “Waiter! There’s a dead spider in my soup.” “Yes I know, sir. It’s the heat that kills […]
TO THE ALTAR My husband is a minister who conducts an expanded altar call at the end of his sermon. He asks those who wish to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, as well as those with prayers or other requests, to come forward. To the surprise
TO THE ALTAR / “Pants” Read More »
Togetherness? A Kansas tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds, on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry. ‘Don’t be scared, Mary,’ her husband said.
Togetherness? / Flea / Gladys Dunn Read More »
 Top ten pickup lines used by Adam 10. “You know you’re the only one for me!” 9. “Do you come here often?” 8. “Trust me, this was meant to be!” 7. “Look around, baby. All the other guys around here are animals!” 6. “I already feel like you’re a
Top ten pickup lines used by Adam / EMS response times / Telling it like it is… Read More »
They’ll never believe this While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day, I found her staring at
They’ll never believe this / With Honors / Sealed with Love Read More »
Time for football A man took his wife, who had no interest in football, to the opening game at the local university. The more dominant opponents battered the home team all over the field. At one point, the referee blew his whistle; the call was unnecessary roughness. “You mean to
Time for football / In The Garbage / Determined to Stay Awake Read More »
The world will need all of youThe world will need all of you / Parachuting / Dining Problem Read More »
The Unknown Usher An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely. “The front row, please,” she answered. “You really don’t want to do that,”
The Unknown Usher / Engine Trouble / Great recipe Read More »
The Newlywed Cook The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first breakfast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. “How was it, honey?” she asked when he’d finished. “Well,” he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, “you probably could have beaten
The Newlywed Cook / “Prescription Labels” / “Brain Problem” Read More »
The Burglars Two burglars had just broken into a bank.As they were walking through the lobby, one noticed a map display with a star and the words “You Are Here.” He turned to the other and said, “We better give up, Bubba. They know where we are!” The Phone’s For
The Burglars / The Phone’s For You / Asking the Police Read More »
