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“More, More Church Bulletin Bloopers”

  • The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse.
  • “Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: ‘Lunch will be gin at 12:15.’ Please correct to read ’12 noon.’ “
  • Any church member over the age of 18 is invited to participate in this lay ministry program. It requires a minimal amount of training and time. The orientation will include six weekly classes of about 200 hours each Tuesday night.
  • The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Meat and drinks will be furnished.

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Five Bucks

When I was in college I was poor. So poor, in fact, that I often found myself out of food. One day I spent my last two dollars on four loaves of bread, and didn’t know where my next meal would come from once those were gone.I decided to call

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For a long time

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin.

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Cotton

Cotton Dollars

CottonI had my note sheet with several totals
that were quite a bit more than the twenty, one dollar bills I had rolled up in
my hand that held my pencil. Twenty one-dollar bills, my reward for picking a
ton of cotton which would wind up as one bale.

I went back over the racks of shirts
looking for some a little less expensive, writing the price down in the column.
Then to the pants, shoes, underwear, same thing. I could do without a new belt
as I could buy a smaller waist size and get by without one. The total was still
too high.

I sat down to rest in a chair used for
fitting shoes while staring at the holes in the knees of my pants. Those
weren’t holes I mused, there was only a strip of pants cloth two or three
inches wide holding the bottom of the pants on below my knees. The holes in the
toes my shoes gave witness that I still had ten of them. Worn from dragging the
cotton sack while on my knees for miles and miles down those hot dusty rows.

“Hi! Have you decided which items
you’d like to buy?” Mrs. Liebermann kindly asked.

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Hospital

Ready to vanish away

HospitalAn older lady was in the hospital reading her Bible when her doctor came in for his visit. She asked him how she was doing. He told her to read Hebrews 13:8, which says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”, meaning she was about the same.

However, she reversed the numbers and read Hebrews 8:13, “Now what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away,” which concerned her very much.

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