On Monday the minister's little daughter was very naughty, so her mother told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School picnic on Saturday.
For the next few days the girl's behaved so nicely the mother changed her mind and said she could go to the picnic after all. Surprisingly, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.
"What's the matter?" asked her mother. "I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic."
"It's too late," said the little girl. "I've already prayed for rain!"
A new parachutist had just jumped from the plane at 10,000 feet, and soon discovered that all his lines were hopelessly tangled.
At about 5,000 feet, still struggling, he noticed someone coming up from the ground at about the same speed as he was going towards the ground. As they passed each other at 3,000 feet, the 'chutist yells, "HEY! DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?"
The reply came, fading towards the end, "NO! DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PROPANE STOVES?"
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"
Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."