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Complaining

A passenger train was creeping along painfully slowly when finally it creaked to a complete halt.

One passenger saw a conductor walking by outside and yelled, "What's going on?"

"Cow on the track!" replied the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumed its slow pace, but within five minutes, it stopped again.

The same woman saw the same conductor walking by again and leaned out the window and yelled,

"What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?

Marriage Wakeup

As Barb was getting to know David and his family, she was very impressed by how much his parents loved each other.

"They're so thoughtful," Barb said. "Why, your dad even brings your mom a cup of hot coffee in bed every morning."

After a time, Barb and David were engaged, and then married. On the way from the wedding to the reception, Barb again remarked on David's loving parents, and even the coffee in bed.

"Tell me," she said, "does it run in the family?"

"It sure does," replied David. "And I take after my mom."

Hiccup Cure

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What did you do that for?" the man asks.

"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"