Why you should marry a good speller
A dog attacks a lady and the husband calls 911.
The operator asks, "Where are you at?"
The husband replies, "I'm on Eucolipstic Road."
The operator asks, "Can you spell that for me?"
"Um, well - er...I'll just drag her over to Oak Street so you can you pick her up there"
Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk."