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Proud Mom

Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" had been proudly displayed for all to see.

One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched.  In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D.  "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.

"That's wonderful!" she said.  "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily.

Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen.

"Mom?  How do you spell 'zilla?'"

Reverent Behavior

At a local church, the members take pride in the reverent behavior of the children during the sermons.

Asked how they engendered this profound respect for God, one elder explained to me:

"In each batch of new Sunday schoolers, I casually mention that we had to fire the artist who made the stained glass roof panels. I say he got fired for putting bad words in some of the artwork. Now, when energetic little boys get bored, they spend their time staring straight up!"

First date

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams! Now what should he do?

His mother advised: "Send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal!"

So that's what he did. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.

"Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

"Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook..."