There was once a scientist who thought he was so clever. He thought he was so clever that he could create life from dust!! He boasted to all his friends and to Christians that he could play ‘God’.
One day he shouted up to God: “Hey God, we don’t need you any more, we can create life all on our own, plus we can engineer it to make people perfect.”
God was amused, and decided that he would like to see the scientist perform his deeds, so he said to the scientist “Okay Mr Scientist, lets see what you can do.”
Mr Scientist gathered up a handful of dust from the ground and placed it into a test tube. He was about to add some chemicals into the tube when God gave him a tap on his shoulder.
“Hang on a moment, friend, get you own dust.”
A guy goes into a fancy lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar, but the bouncer tells him he needs a necktie to get in.
The guy doesn't have a necktie handy, so goes out to his car and gets his jumper cables. He ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot, and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the lounge. The bouncer looks him up & down and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."
Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."
A man was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running toward him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What's happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the city zoo."
"Oh no! Which way is it heading?"
"Well, you don't think we're chasing it, do you?"