A preacher was made aware that he had a deacon in his church who was from time to time known to cuss.
In his attempt to help the deacon overcome this terrible habit, the preacher decided he should spend some personal time with the deacon so they could have a long talk about the problem. The preacher decided to ask the deacon to go fishing thinking that might provide an opportunity to talk.
They were out in a boat and had their lines in the water when the preacher hooked a BIG one. It put up a mighty fight, but finally he reeled the fish up to the edge of the boat. It was the biggest fish the preacher had ever caught. But, just as the minister started to pull his catch into the boat, the fish slipped off the hook and got away.
Thoroughly disgusted, the preacher looked over and said, "Deacon, somethin' needs to be said here!"
After a hardy Karoo rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.
The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother ran to the yard in a panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she said as she shook the older boy in anger.
"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said.
"I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes."
First Accident Report
Because I was processing my first accident report at the transportation company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive. The driver had hit a Koedoe on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender.
My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"
The driver had put "Full gallop."