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Mad Cow Conversation

Two cows are conversing in a field.

The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"

The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!"

Appointment Delay

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale.

"I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.

Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"

Holy Terror

Little Dewey was one of those holy terrors.

His dad was surprised when Dewey's mom suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday.

"Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior?" he said.

"Well, no," she admitted, "But it'll spread it over a wider area."