Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise.
One of the guys asked, "When does it become effective?"
The boss answered, "As soon as you do."
Coffee Like Mud
I was making rounds one morning with a physician when we were interrupted by a co-worker who inquired about a patient's diet.
"Mrs. Jones does nothing but complain about her food," my co-worker said. "She says the coffee tastes like mud."
"Well, it should," the doctor quipped. "It was fresh ground this morning."
Test Results Good News
Joey walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer.
"Dad," said Joey, "Remember when you told me you'd give me twenty dollars if I passed my math test?"
"Well," said Joey, "The good news is that I just saved you twenty bucks."