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Favorite Candy

Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter.

"What now?" I asked.

"He plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted to know what her favorite candy is. He's going to put the invitation into a candy basket."

The next morning a basket of candy was on our porch.

"But, Mom," our daughter protested when she heard the story, "KitKat isn't my favorite candy."

"I know," Nancy said. "It's mine."

Fire hydrant

Two dogs are walking down the street and one says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back."

He trots across the street, sniffs at a fire hydrant for about a minute, then comes back.

The other dog says, "What was that about?"

The dog first dog says, "Oh, just checking my messages."

Marry An Actor

An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage. The father said, "I would never let my daughter marry an actor."

The actor said, "Sir, I think you may change your mind if you see me perform. Won't you at least come and see the play?"

So the father went to see the play, and the next day he called the actor, "You were right. I did change my mind. Go ahead and marry my daughter. You're no actor."