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English Errors

English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than rules. It's no wonder there are so many blunders. We hope this creative copy from travel and dining brochures from around the world will put a smile on your face.

Italian hotel brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.

Polish tourist brochure:
As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.

Swiss menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Spanish hotel ad:
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to visitors' comfort.

Athens hotel:
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

On the menu:
Bowels in sauce. (Tripe!)
Chopped up cow with wire through it. (Shish-kebob)
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Teppan Yaki, Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Paris Dress Shop:
Dresses for street walking.

Eating pork

An elderly rabbi, having just retired from his duties in the temple, finally decides to fulfill his lifelong fantasy to taste pork.

He goes to a hotel in the Catskills in the off-season (not his usual one, mind you), enters the empty dining hall and sits down at a table far in the corner. The waiter arrives, and the rabbi orders roast suckling pig.

As the rabbi is waiting, struggling with his conscience, a family from his congregation walks in! They immediately see the rabbi and, since no one should eat alone, they join him. Shocked, the rabbi begins to sweat.

At last, the waiter arrives with a huge domed platter. He lifts the lid to reveal nothing else but roast suckling pig with a big apple in its mouth.

"This place is amazing!" cries the rabbi. "You order a baked apple, and look what you get!"