051211

Morning People

I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake.

"Hi!" exclaimed my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week.

"Mom," I interrupted. "It's five in the morning."

"Really? What are you doing up so early?"

Bag of Chickens

Van der Merwe and Gatiep meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says Gatiep. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says van der Merwe, "if you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

Gatiep scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"

Coffee Delay

In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food restaurant and ordered some coffee.

Because I was in a hurry, I asked them to put a couple of ice cubes in the coffee so it would cool down more quickly and I could drink it faster.

I sat there at the pick-up window for a few minutes, wondering where they had to go to get my coffee, when a frustrated teenager finally came up and said, "I'm sorry for the delay, but the ice you wanted in your coffee keeps melting!"