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A lack of activity

A ragged individual, stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.

Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message:

"Due to lack of activity," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your email account."

Wise words

At a wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.  The bride's grandparents took the honors.

The DJ asked them: "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"

The grandma said: "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"

Everyone then looked at the grandpa for his answer. He, wisely, answered: "She's probably right."

Loose Fitting Clothing

April teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the class to just wear loose fitting clothing to the class.

"Honey," the lady replied, "if I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't be signing up for an exercise class."