A lack of activity
A ragged individual, stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message:
"Due to lack of activity," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your email account."
At a wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. The bride's grandparents took the honors.
The DJ asked them: "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"
The grandma said: "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at the grandpa for his answer. He, wisely, answered: "She's probably right."
Loose Fitting Clothing
April teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the class to just wear loose fitting clothing to the class.
"Honey," the lady replied, "if I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't be signing up for an exercise class."