Choosing His Words Carefully!
The minister’s wife threw into the garbage a poorly baked pie presented by one of the church members. Rising to the occasion, the conscientious pastor wrote the donor: “I can assure you a pie like yours doesn’t last long around this house.”

Gaining weight
A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She’d made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they’d eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.
Everyone commiserated, until someone asked her what her husband said when he found out. She smiled, “He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!”