Little Benjamin came running into the kitchen where is mother was working.
"Mom, can I please change my name right now?" he asked.
"But why would you want to do that?" replied his mom.
"Because Dad said he's going to spank me as sure as my name's Benjamin!"
Keeping a Confidence
A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had.
I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.
"Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?"
"It wasn't a boy," came the reply.
The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well organized and always ended promptly at 20 minutes.
One Sunday, he seemed to wander and drift around a bit and was still preaching to the congregation after 35 minutes. His wife managed a small signal, which fortunately he recognized as a sign he should come to a close.
When they got home after the service, the wife asked the pastor why he got so muddled and why he went on speaking so long.
He answered, "Well, I've gotten into the habit of tucking a lozenge in my mouth before I stand to speak. When the lozenge has dissolved, I know it is time to stop. This morning, unfortunately I picked up a collar button instead of a lozenge."