In one comic strip, Calvin is arguing with his father about going to bed. "Why can't I stay up late? You guys can. IT'S NOT FAIR!"
Dad looks down and says, "The WORLD isn't fair, Calvin."
Calvin marches off to bed saying, "I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"
Ten Commandments One At A Time
A big, burly fellow walks out of church after the service one Sunday. He reaches out and shakes hands with the preacher and says, "Reverend, you really inspired me with your sermon on how to start off the New Year. I've already made my resolution. Starting today, I'm going to keep one Commandment a week until I get through all ten."
A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy personal attention and much advice, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."