160211

Israel

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity."

"Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?" He took his problem to his best friend, Ike.

"Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?"

"Funny you should ask," said Ike. "I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi."

So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

"Funny you should ask," said the rabbi. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?"

And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:

"Funny you should ask," said the Voice. "I, too, sent my Son to Israel . . ."

 

Legalism

Here is a purported-to-be-true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

 

Sleeping dog

One afternoon, Sue was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.

Sue could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, he followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, the dog went to the door, and Sue let him out.

The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, Sue pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day the dog arrives with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with eight children. He's just trying to catch up on his sleep."