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cartoon

When God made me

Little Johnny: "Daddy, did God make you before he made me?"

Father: "Yes son, He did."

Little Johnny: "I guess He's doing better work now."

Job’s birth

Little Johnny asked his mother, "Did you know that Job spoke when he was just a newborn baby?"

"How do you know that?"

He replied, "The Bible says 'Job cursed the day he was born.'"

 

Dyslexic

I'm dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I'm tense.

When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, "Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah."

Resumes mistakes

Examples of real-life mistakes on resumes:

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I am a rabid typist."