Work Excellence
One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs.
I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.
"The repairs were to the other side," I noted.
Exam Assistance
In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.
The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."
Swallowed Coins
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."
Remember When
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when:
* Your computer's ready-mode was a black screen with a single cursor, and there was no such thing as Windows; there was just "DOS."
* There was this amazing new video game called "Pong" and you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable.
* The astonishing mobility was a cordless phone you could take around the house; it got better reception than the one you can now take all over the country.
* Mail was something you wrote on a piece of paper and put into a stamped envelope. And you didn't get 110 unsolicited pieces of it every morning promising great riches or body enhancements.
* No normal person had speakers on a computer.
* The diners at the next restaurant table were smoking cigarettes and you barely noticed.
* The fastest computer out there was an 286 XT with the option of a turbo mode and a 20mb hard disk drive.
* The only thing you knew about Robin Williams was he played a weird alien named "Mork" on television.
* An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced concept in compact music recording.