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Suspicion

One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. "No problem," I told him. "Make it up the following week."

That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral.

"You'll have to take the test early next week," I insisted; "I can't keep postponing it."

"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he told me.

By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?" I asked.

"I don't know any of these people," he said. "I'm the only gravedigger in town."

Golf

“The reason they called golf "golf" was all the other 4-letter words were taken.”

Sign Language

"A new survey found that more parents are teaching their babies sign language before they learn how to talk. Babies' favorite word in sign language? Whatever putting your whole hand in your mouth means."

 

New  neighbours

My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son, Billy, and one of his friends burst through the door.

"Hey Dad, announced Billy, "have you met the new neighbours?"

"No."

"Come on Dad, you have to meet them."

"Some other time; I'm busy."

"Dad, you have to meet them now."

From the urgency in Billy's voice, I assumed the neighbours were waiting outside. I set aside my project and went to the front of the house. No one was there.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Well, Dad," he explained, "we haven't met them yet either, but our soccer ball is in their living room!"