Anyone Home?

A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was touring her new territory. She came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen. Intrigued, she knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?"

A child's voice answered, "Yep."

"Is your father there?"

"Pa? Nope, he left before Ma came in."

"Well, is your mother there?"

"Nope, Ma left just before I got here."

"Are you never together as a family?"

"Sure, but not here. This is the outhouse!"


When hiring new staff at the public library, I always ask applicants what sort of supervision they'd be most com- fortable with.

One genius answered,

"I've always thought Superman's X-ray vision would be cool."

New Carwash

My niece was thrilled to hear that a new car wash was opening up in her neighborhood. "How convenient," she said. "I can walk to it!"


One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an impassioned speech on the benefits of drinking liquor. Alcohol, he insisted, warded off colds, kept you alert, and even made you steadier on your feet.

"Good job," said our instructor when he finished. "Only one thing: Your topic was the benefits of drinking liquids, not liquor."

Business Hours

The first day at my new health club I asked the girl at the front desk, "I like to exercise after work.

What are your hours?"

"Our club is open 24/7," she told me excitedly, "Monday through Saturday."