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Added to the Paper

As part of his talk at a banquet, our minister told some jokes and a few funny stories. Since he planned to use the same anecdotes at a meeting the next day, he asked reporters covering the event not to include them in their articles.

Reading the paper the following morning, he noticed that one well-meaning cub reporter had ended his story on the banquet with the observation "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published."

New policy

Following the birth of my second child, I called our insurance company to inquire about my short-term disability policy. "I just had a baby," I proudly announced to the representative who picked up the phone.

"Congratulations! I'll get all of your information and activate your policy," she assured me. After taking down basic facts like my name and address, she asked, "Was this a work-related incident?"

Late night call

Sometime around two in the morning our phone rang, waking us out of a sound sleep.

"Wrong number," my husband growled, and slammed down the receiver. A few minutes later it rang again. I heard him say, "One with pepperoni and extra cheese and one with sausage.

Pickup in 20 minutes."

"What was that?" I asked.

"I took his order. Now we can sleep."