An eighth grade teacher was leading a discussion on the qualifications for being president of the United States.

After the teacher commented that a person must be a natural- born citizen. One of the students raised her hand, "Does that mean that if you were born by Caesarean section that you can't be president?

"Don't Smoke"

A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well."

"You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often."


Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance.

One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?"