281009Mike's Girlfriend

After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" I asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

Delivery

It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore."

I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.

"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."

The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" She shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"

Introduction

I work for a small software company with approximately fifty employees. My Boss was the company's third employee. At a meeting with a potential client, our team introduced ourselves one by one. When it was my Boss' turn, he said, "I've been with the company for it's entire 10 year history. I started as a 'lowly programmer' and now I am a senior manager."

When it was my turn, I rose and said, "I'm new with the company. I'm still a lowly programmer."