CartoonAnniversary

Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss, Woody, and his wife celebrated by staying at the same resort hotel. On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual room. But when the hotel's bell captain escorted them upstairs, they were in for a big surprise. "There must be some mistake,"

Woody said. "This looks like the bridal suite."

"It's okay," the bell captain reassured him. "If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn't mean you have to dance."

Finishing a novel

"The other week I went to see my doctor ... I was in the waiting room, and I decided to pass the time finishing a novel. But the other patients complained about the noise of the typewriter."

Generic brands

"I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'Woman'."

Secret Shopper

As a secret shopper for a large department store, my sister made purchases at various chains and then reported back to supervisors on the clerks' performances. After a few weeks, I asked her if she was enjoying her new job.

"I love it!" she replied. "I'm getting paid for doing two of my favorite things in life--shopping and criticizing people."