"I'm sorry about the delay, Reverend," the passport officer said. "Everyone waits until the last moment to get ready for a trip they know they are going to take."

"I understand," the minister said. "I have the same problem in my business."


Harmful environmental effects

Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."

Which side?

Van der Merwe and Mike are putting up a fence.

"Hey, this nail is defective. The point is on the wrong end!" says Van.

Mike replies: "It's not defective, you goof. It's for the other side of the fence!"

Short hillarious sayings

"Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.”

"A new medical study says that meat can almost be as bad for you as smoking. You know what's really bad? Second-hand meat."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."