100909Dad and Surgeon

This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renown surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me . . .

your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

First Time Babysitter

A young boy was babysitting for the first time - beginning his shift shortly after supper and as the children were playing in front of the house.

At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch TV. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back. At 9 PM, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The babysitter brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, "I'm here Mom but he won't let me go home."

Business Report

My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited the general manager's report on the performance of our branch.

"You are the role models of our company," he proudly announced. "I can tell you that whenever the owners talk about you and your office, they use nothing but expletives."

A stunned silence followed.

Then the manager blushed, cleared his throat, and added,

"I meant superlatives."