020909YOU TOO CAN BE A PROFESSIONAL!!

Just take this short quiz...

This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS.

There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

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1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.

This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Incorrect Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and shut the refrigerator.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out of the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This question tests your foresight.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator!

This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking.

Okay, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting!

This question tests your reasoning ability.

SO...

If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you.

If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you.

If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint.

If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money.

If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as law or politics.

New Golf balls

Glenn Forbes had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

His friend Sam watched as he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand new ball into the woods. On the second hole, Morris drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" Sam asked.

"I've never had an old ball," Glenn said.

What did you do today?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today, I didn't do it'