A Hebrew teacher stood in front of his class and said, "The Jewish people have observed their 5,759th year as a people. Consider that the Chinese, for example, have only observed their 4,692nd year as a people. "Now, what does it mean to you?"
After a moment of silence, a student raised his hand.
"Yes, David," the teacher said, "what does it mean?"
David replied,"It means that the Jews had to suffer without Chinese food for 1,067 years."
The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like to know two things.
First: Why did you revolt?
Second: How did you get out of your cell?"
One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful."
"I see. And what did you use to break the bars?", the warden asked.
Replied the spokesman, "FrenchToast..."
In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock.
I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock and when it was worn on your body that it was called a watch.
A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset.
I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time.
Luis looked at his wrist, and then confidently announced,"It is exactly ten o'watch."