A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics.
Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening's lecture. The philosopher agreed and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, "Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?"
"That is an extremely simple question," he responded. "So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly what he will do."
Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake?
The candles melted in the oven.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me last Friday…
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered at him, "Have you ever been married?"
"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"The witness said meekly, "My sister did!"