140809Pit Falls

This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was a mistake, because the gravediggers had just opened a new site, in preparations for a funeral early the next morning.

The unfortunate man took a headlong plunge into the deep pit. It began to rain, and the sides became slippery, besides being deep. Try as he may (and he did again and again) he could not climb out. Finally he resigned himself to wait for the caretakers the next morning, and he settled into a corner.

Just before dawn another man, who had been "out on the town" all night and who was definitely inebriated, stumbled into the same grave. He yelped and started trying his best to get back topside.

After a few attempts, this deep voice from the corner said, "It's no use. You can't get out!"

But he did...

High Tech Flying

The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight. The voice over the loudspeaker had just announced that the aircraft had reached its cruising altitude and that the passengers were free to unfasten their seatbelts and move about the cabin. Then the voice continued.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce that you are flying on the maiden voyage of one of our brand new fully- automated jetliners. These new jetliners are the pride of our fleet and have no need for pilot, co-pilot or navigator. All human error has been eliminated. You needn't be alarmed, as everything from the cabin pressure to the speed and altitude is completely controlled by our computer. We're excited about the world's first fully-automated airplane, and we hope you are, too. So just sit back and relax, and remember, nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong..."

Serious Shopper

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation.

Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead.

"Ah," he sighed that must he her checking out now."