300709Caught in the Act

I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up.

Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, "I caught you!"

I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow but her next words let me off the hook.

"You put that money back!" she said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"

Midterm Exam

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam.

Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall.

The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on his desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me.

He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years.'"

Marine Mines

In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and to the racks where we slept as "my racks."

One time when when we were all whispering in the bathroom while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us.

To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?"