290709Utensil Rejection

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.

When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.

"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The waiter inspected her chopsticks.

"Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

Repair costs

A female surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair.

"This is ridiculous!" she said, "charging me R 5000 to grind the valves and put in new piston rings."

"Not really, just think about it. You are a surgeon and should know that an automobile engine is just as complicated as a human body. The mechanic who serviced your car is just as skilled as you are."

"Is that so? Well, let me see him grind valves while the engine is running."

King of the Jungle

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear.

"Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked.

"Why, of course, you are," the bear replied. The lion gave a mighty roar of approval.

Next he asked the tiger, "Who is the king of the jungle?"

The tiger quickly responded, "Everyone knows that YOU are, oh mighty lion."

Next on the list was the elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked.

The elephant immediately grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him around in the air five or six times and slammed him into a tree. Then he pounded him onto the ground several times, dunked him under water in a nearby lake and finally dumped him out on the shore.

The lion — beaten, bruised and battered — struggled to his feet.

"Look," he told the elephant, "just because you don't know the answer is no reason to get upset."