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Every Valentine's Day our campus newspaper has a section for student messages.
Last year my roommate surprised his girlfriend with roses and dinner at a fancy restaurant.

When they returned from their date, she leafed through the paper to see if he had written a note to her.

Near the bottom of one page she found:

"Bonnie -- What are you looking here for?

Aren't dinner and flowers enough?

Love, Scott."

A Police Story

Three police squads, The Scotland Yard police, The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward. The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best.

First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up.

Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion.
Lastly the sardar brigade goes in. 15 minutes, half an hour, one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis. The judges give up and decide to search for them. They go into the forest. After some searching, they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree.

The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting,

"Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! "(Admit that you are a lion! You are a lion).

Losing load

A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up.  She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window.  The girl says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.  The trucker stops for another red light and the girl again catches up.  She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window and she says, "Hi my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

He ignores her again and continues down the street.  The trucker stops for still another red light and the girl catches up again all out of breath.  She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window.  Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

He dismisses her and starts off down the street, then stops.  The trucker gets out of the truck, approaches the girl and says, "Hi, my name is Kevin and I am driving a SALT TRUCK!"