010609Vacation Offer

A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss' kind offer.

The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?" The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.

"Well, what are they?" asked the boss.

"The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper's circulation."

The boss asked him what the other reason was.

"The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper's circulation."

Wake Up!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..it said...

"It is 5:00 am, wake up!"

Exercise Classes

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.

If I *had* any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for an exercise class!