290409Hot Air

A pastor once put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church, but after two weeks took them out. When asked why, he confessed that they worked fine, but when he went in there he saw a sign that read,

"For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."

Who Ate The Cookies?

My pastor-husband Scott has a sweet tooth, so I knew the chocolate chip cookies I'd just baked might disappear before I returned from running errands.

To discourage him, I taped a verse on the wrapped goodies: "Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial..." (1 Cor. 6:12)

When I returned I found half the cookies gone and another verse attached: "The righteous eat to their heart's content, but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry." (Prov. 13:25).

Spelling errors

Bernie is walking down High Street in Brooklyn when he notices the following sign in the shop window of 'Moshe's Kosher Emporium' -ALL THE DEVCIES YOU NEED FOR YOUR HOEM

So he goes inside and asks to see Moshe.

"Can I help you, sir?" Moshe asks Bernie.

"I just wanted to point out that you have two spelling errors in the sign you have in your window."

"Yes, I know," says Moshe. "It's a deliberate marketing policy. You see, we get around a dozen people coming in here each day to point this out to us, and of these, at least 3 or 4 buy something. And now that you're in here, sir, can I interest you in our special low price for a kitchen table and four chairs?"

Bragging

Miriam was bragging to her next-door neighbor, Esther, about her son, a college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary."

"You're lucky," Esther said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"