Top ten pickup lines used by Adam
10. "You know you're the only one for me!"
9. "Do you come here often?"
8. "Trust me, this was meant to be!"
7. "Look around, baby. All the other guys around here are animals!"
6. "I already feel like you're a part of me!"
5. "Honey, you were made for me!"
4. "Why don't you come over to my place and we can name some animals?"
3. "You're the girl of my dreams!" (Gen. 2:21)
2. "I like a girl who doesn't mind being ribbed!"
And the number one pick up line from Adam is:
"You're the apple of my eye!"
EMS response times
Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance 
team's response times:
"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we 
cut our emergency response time by ten percent."
The other paramedics nodded in approval.
"Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent."
Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed his drivers lisense, we've cut our emergency response time in half.
Telling it like it is...
In a trial, a southern small town Prosecuting Attorney called his first witness -- A Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense Attorney?"
She again replies, "Why, yes, I do . I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire State. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The Defense Attorney almost died.
The Judge asked both Counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll send you BOTH to the Electric Chair!"