They'll never believe this
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day, I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all of the diplomas, he requested, "Will all the cum laudes please stand up?"
My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"
Sealed with Love
While my brother was stationed overseas, his wife wrote to him daily. For an added touch, she'd always scribble little abbreviated notes on the outside of the envelope.
One day, my brother received a
letter with the familiar "SWL" message on the envelope. He noticed
that the letter was sealed with tape and chuckled when he read this notation
written by a postal employee: "Love didn't stick. Resealed in