One Sunday morning, a preacher cut his face while shaving, and he placed a band-aid on the cut. After a longer-than-usual sermon, he explained, "In case you are wondering what happened to my face, while shaving I was concentrating on my sermon and I cut my face." Afterwards, a woman said to him, "Next time, concentrate on your face and CUT THE SERMON."
The Worth of a Sermon
The minister selected a fifty-cent item at a convenience store, but discovered he didn't have any money with him. "I could invite you to hear me preach in return," he said jokingly to the owner, "but I'm afraid I don't have any fifty-cent sermons." "Perhaps," suggested the owner, "I could attend twice."
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in