My sister went to the local pizzeria to pick up a pizza. Her eight-year-old son wanted to go in and get the pizza himself. So, she gave him $20 and a $2 off coupon for a $15 pizza.
When he came back, he still had the coupon and some change and she asked, "Didn't they take the coupon?"
He replied, "Oh, we didn't need the coupon. We had enough money."
The Secret to Marriage
"So, what's the secret to your 52 years of marriage?"
"We never go to sleep angry."
"That's a great philosophy."
"Yes, the longest we've gone without sleep is five days. So far."
Two Cabinet Advisors the President were discussing the energy crisis. Asked one, "Which of our resources do you think will be exhausted first?"
Replied the other, "Probably the taxpayer."