Peace & Quiet
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.
Rest In Peace
Jake was on his deathbed, with his wife Becky at his side. She held his cold hand and tears silently streamed down her face.
His pale lips moved. "Becky," he said.
"Hush," she quickly interrupted, "don't talk."
But he insisted. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."
"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Becky.
"It's all right. Everything's all right."
"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Becky, that I have been unfaithful to you."
Becky stroked his hand. "Now, Jake, don't be concerned. I know all about it", she sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"
A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."
"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy.
"I have no idea what that means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."