The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror.
The police officer pulled me over for speeding. I explained to him that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first anniversary.
But rather than letting me off, he wrote out the ticket, handed it to me, and said,
"Congratulations. The first year is paper, right?"
Caught in the Act
I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up.
Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, "I caught you!"
I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow but her next words let me off the hook.
"You put that money back!" she said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"
Graceless at Grandma's
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.
I don't have to," the little boy replied.
"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"