For the Last Time
"How are you getting along with trying to date that new co-worker?"
"Not so bad. I'm getting some encouragement now."
"Really? Is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?"
"Not exactly, but last night, she said she's said no for the last time."
Safety at Work
Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So, I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?"
The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?"
Hard of Hearing
"Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing."
"I'll have my nurse make an appointment for her, but in the meantime, there's a simple, informal test you can run to give us an idea how bad the problem is. Here's what you do: start out about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone, say something and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet and so on, until you get a response."
That evening, the wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the living room. In a normal tone, he asks, "Honey, what's for supper?"
So, the husband moves to the other end of the room and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?"
Still no response.
Next, he moves into the dining room. "Honey, what's for supper?"
He gets no response, so he walks up to the kitchen door. "Honey, what's for supper?"
Again, there was no response, so he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"Harry! For the fifth time, I said chicken!"