Bark worse that Bite
The story is told about a man who was met by a barking dog. The owner assured him: "Don't worry. Don't you know the proverb that a barking dog does not bite?" The trembling man said: "Yes, I know the proverb. You know the proverb, but, does your dog know the proverb?"
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . . "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . . "Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't have a dog."
"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?" "Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."